Saturday, November 26, 2005

And The Tin Foil Hat Award Goes To...

I've been meaning to post about this since I saw it Thursday, but cooking Thanksgiving dinner took priority. Former Canadian Defense Minister, Paul Hellyer, said in September, "The United States military are preparing weapons which could be used against the aliens, and they could get us into an intergalactic war without us ever having any warning." Why exactly this is just making the news now, I have no idea, but it's fun to see what's on the mind of our neighbors to the north, eh?

According to him, Bush Doctrine (pre-emptive war) is leading to the establishment of bases on the moon, so we can shoot down the flying saucers before they get to Earth. He feels Canadian Parliament should hold public hearings on exopolitics before the U.S. starts a war with an alien race. I don't think Kurt Vonnegut could have said it any better.

I, for one, welcome our new alien overlords, and would like to remind them, that as an Inter-web blogging personality, I can be useful in rounding up other humans for them to dump into volcanoes on distant primitive worlds. Hail Xenu!

Mr. Hellyer, you win this week's Tin Foil Hat Award!

Directions to make your own Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie.

EDIT: Interestingly, the Church of Scientology website promises a world without insanity. Heh.


Blogger Phantom_Driver, USNR, Ret. bloody well said...

Tin Foil Chapeaux Installation instructions:

A. Connect grounding wire to bumper of semi truck frame, not the trailer. Scrape off any manure from trailer to make shiny connection for best results.

B. Drive semi to highest altitude point in area, and aim hat skyward at
elev/azimuth contained in Elron Hubbard's Astrological Guide to the Universe for that date and time.

C. Chat the mantra "Ohm, Ohm, Mho Mho" for least resistance and faster passage of thought transferrance.

D. When connection with Mother Ship is established, bear in mind that the Giant Talking Head has better things to do than shoot the breeze with the likes of mere mortals like yourself.
Be brief.

E. When communication is concluded,
remove tinfoil hat, crunch it into a ball, and hide beneath seat to avoid detection by police authorities.
Do not litter, as foil may contain partial brain/thought fragments that may be decoded by Bush's dreaded Secret Police, which will result in your arrest and detention at Bush's infamous "re-education" stalags.


26 November, 2005 13:44  

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