Monday, December 19, 2005

Panacea

Reason #1 why marijuana should be legalized: It would make the news much more interesting.

The Washington State Democrat Party was caught selling anti-Christian magnets on its website a while back. To brighten you day, the Skagit Valley Herald has followed up on the story with the creator of said magnets, one Allison Bigelow of Mount Vernon, Washington. The big news here is that pot apparently is the cure for all the world's ills (TFHT: James Taranto):

“In my opinion, we wouldn’t be such a warring people if we used more cannabis and used less alcohol,” Bigelow said.

You can pretty much guess which party she identifies with. First, like, we bake weed into breakfast cereal, dude. Then everyone's doing it, right? And then they'll all be like, "Whoa." Yeah, man. Boy am I hungry! *zzzzzzzz*

She honestly thinks marijuana will solve all the world's problems, it seems, and I suppose she's right. Boy, if everyone in the world had distorted perception, difficulty in thinking and problem solving, loss of coordination, depression, anxiety and personality disturbances the world would be a much happier place. What would really improve my life is a compromised ability to learn and remember information. But I'm being biased! What about the good parts of habitual marijuana use? Uh... heh, heh. Duuuude!

“I’ve done everything I can, but I still feel I have blood on my hands,” Bigelow said of the ongoing war in Iraq.

Through her online store, Bigelow sells magnets the size of business cards with a pro-pot messages.

“We don’t need to be in a war for oil because we have industrial hemp,” Bigelow said. “If you look into all the little things that hemp can do, you’ll understand. We wouldn’t be killing people for oil.”

Hemp is extremely useful, but I don't think we'll be running the free world on it anytime soon. In the meantime, Ms. Bigelow, toke up! Thankfully, I think her, uh... habits... will keep her from getting any more motivated.

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