Monday, January 09, 2006


Hey! Good news! (TFHT: Best of the Web) Abu Musab al-Zarqawi has promised to give up the jihad! He only wants two small things from us:

The Iraqi Al-Qaeda leader then laid down two conditions for giving up the jihad.

"First, chase out the invaders from our territory in Palestine, in Iraq and everywhere in Islamic land.

"Second, instal sharia (Islamic law) on the entire Earth and spread Islamic justice there (...). The attacks will not cease until after the victory of Islam and the setting up of sharia," he swore.
Turns out he's a reasonable guy after all!

EDIT: I was just thinking, where are the screaming headlines on this story that say "ZARQAWI OFFERS PEACE" or something to that extent? Maybe I'm too hard on the media after all... ;)

UPDATE: More at The Blenster's Blog: On the Topic of Appeasement


Blogger TexasFred bloody well said...

I have been preaching, for a LONG time, we are going to have to submit or die before it's over...

Or, we can kill ALL of them...

Personally, I prefer we kill THEM...

09 January, 2006 19:46  
Blogger Lone Pony bloody well said...

All I can say to Zarqawi is...FAT CHANCE bozo.

09 January, 2006 22:39  
Blogger Edward bloody well said...

Wow. He's so reasonable - why don't we just do what he says? Just ask Ramsey Clark...

09 January, 2006 22:40  
Blogger Rebekah bloody well said...

Yes, now we can sleep at night...

Oh, but why can't we negotiate with terrorists? That's what was asked me by a liberal recently. He said you have to be willing to give...

09 January, 2006 22:42  
Blogger Nicki bloody well said...

Hmmmm.... Lemme see if I can properly formulate a response to that lovely, charming, graceful ultimatum.

Dear Abu,

How about we find you and your boss and sodomize you with live camels before we roll you in pig fat and burn your foul carcasses while doing a rain dance facing west? MMMMmmmmkay?

10 January, 2006 09:57  
Blogger shoprat bloody well said...

Does he consider Spain to be their land as well? Actually it sounds like blackmail, and I wonder how many countries would accept it.

nicki, I have long advocated that we give them a heart transplant - using the heart of a pig.

10 January, 2006 14:10  
Blogger Nicki bloody well said...

Shoprat, transplants are way too expensive. Just let me at 'em. All I'll need is some bacon, a container of flammable fluid, a lighter and a trash bin.

10 January, 2006 18:25  
Blogger Robosquirrel bloody well said...

Shoprat: He would like to establish a world-wide caliphate - loosely translated, he wan't to take over the world (as do all other of the islamofacists). But I'm sure all they really need is a hug. Y'know, if you can close enough to them without being decapitated.

Rebekah: Tell your friend that the risk of decapitation make negotiation really tricky. That and the fact that they are completely insatiable when it comes to concessions. al-Zarqawi makes it pretty clear that he's not going to go away for a couple million dollars worth of boot-licking.

10 January, 2006 19:05  
Blogger Little Miss Chatterbox bloody well said...

I say ditto to Lone Pony's comments. And Robo I watched the beheading of Nick Berg on the internet and will never forget it. So you make an excellent point that negotiations with terrorists aren't very doable.

10 January, 2006 23:50  
Blogger Mary Ann bloody well said...

I'll look for the headlines :) Better keep my eye on the NY Times.

11 January, 2006 13:16  
Blogger shoprat bloody well said...

Do we have a counter-proposal

1. All lands that were Christian prior to 550 AD shall revert to rule by Christians.

2. A nuclear device shall be embedded in a block of concrete at Mecca and America shall possess the detonator.

Any other suggestions?

11 January, 2006 15:31  
Blogger NEO, SOC bloody well said...

When I get my Glock; I'd be happy to handle the negotiations.

11 January, 2006 18:25  
Blogger Nicki bloody well said...

My Glock is bigger than yours, Neo! ;-) (Actually, if you're getting a 22, your barrel is just a wee bit longer than mine. I have a 23.)

Seriously, I dig the whole wrap them in bacon and burn them while doing a celebratory dance facing west idea.

11 January, 2006 18:34  
Blogger NEO, SOC bloody well said...

Funny, story: Jay & I went to the gun shop to get pick out the Glock and I jokingly said to the guy behind the counter.

"I shoot tilted to the side (I held the pistol like a thug), could have the sights put on the side of the barrel?"

His response, "Oh, you mean 'homeboy sights'? I've done them before on request." - He was serious!

11 January, 2006 18:58  
Blogger Lone Pony bloody well said...

I hold my Glock to the side sometimes too. It's a balance thing I think. I have to make myself hold it correctly.

12 January, 2006 20:06  
Blogger Blenster bloody well said...

I linked back to you here:
Appeasement is a rediculous notion when dealing with religious fundementalists (of any stripe, I include Pat Robertson in that list). I'm just glad to have been proven right on this in undeniable terms (many of my friends have argued that I "can't know" that this is what it would take. Well, now we do.

13 January, 2006 12:39  

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