Sunday, June 25, 2006

Busy Bead Aquarium Friends

If my son needs plastic fish as friends, I've failed as a father. Then again, I think my daughter could use a few friends. We got Kiddo outside of the house once or twice and met a few of the neighbor girls but she's been spending most of my work days playing on the computer and pestering Red and Mom-in-Law about how she will only eat certain foods if they come in the right color packages. But that's another story.

Before we left Rhode Island (hopefully forever, as far as I am concerned) we began to receive mountains of mailings from companies hawking baby products. Those of you who are parent will likely have experienced this. I suspect it's because Red likes to give out our name and address at baby stores. When they ask me if they can have my name and address, I say, "No."

As soon as the commerce machine got wind of our having a baby, we started receiving sample package junk in the mail, most of which we couldn't use, like Huggies that were too small and formula we hadn't planned to use (still breastfeeding, but supplementing with formula). The same thing happens when you move; somehow your name gets on a list and everybody wants to perform lawn service and test your water. Dude! I'm on city water! Give me a break already! More about that sales call some other time.

One of those baby product companies was called Babee Tenda, which has been on the scene for about 50 years selling expensive ugly little high chairs and apparently scaring the crap out of parents to do it. The sales representative sends out cards in the mail declaring a "baby safety seminar" on some date, not disclosing company affiliation or intention to sell you lots of stuff.

I said to Red as soon as I saw the card, "I wonder what they're selling." That just pissed her off and we went anyway. I sat through most of the presentation trying not to roll my eyes and storm out. For hours he didn't even try to sell us anything, but let us know who he worked for and what he was going to talk about, then with a packed hotel meeting room full of paranoid parents and nervous pregnant women, he demonstrated why every baby product on the planet was inadequate to have babies anywhere near.

OK, I'll admit, when I saw the leg of that swing lift up while my son was in it, I was a bit concerned, and yes, I remember knocking the high chair over when I was in it as a child. This feeding table has a low center of gravity and a wide base, and spent a few minutes banging on it myself, checking quality of construction and to see how stable it really was. It turns out they are well-made, but just as stable as one of those modern plastic high chairs on it's lowest height setting. Of course, high chair trays can be kicked off and the plastic isn't all that sturdy.

Then I thought, well, I didn't bother checking any of the things on our baby registry this way. Just this guy who seems to me like he trying to scare people into buying what seems to be a perfectly good product that would sell just fine in a store. They just make more money when they direct-sell it.

The salesman kept going on and on about how the government regulations on baby furniture are inadequate and that the government should do something, but they don't... This in particular annoyed me. The government can't prevent all harm from coming to you; take some responsibility.

At this point, I'm not buying it. Then I see the crib. I like this crib. I remember me and my brother and sisters in our crib, climbing out, getting stuck between the bars, all that stuff. This thing is awesome; it's got high, close rails; no knobs for anything to catch on if kids climb over them, even a door for older kids so they don't have to climb to get out. The safety locks are complicated, but not impossible to operate. And it's convertible, so we can use it for a while, plus it was cheaper than the other convertible cribs we'd seen.

So we bought it, plus the feeding table. I was still annoyed by the sales tactics, though. These seem to be pretty good products, so why sell them this way? Why not something more... honest?

Labels: ,


Blogger Lone Pony bloody well said...

That really is a pretty cool crib. You're such a doting father...I could just hug you! I had to giggle imagining a libertarian sitting having to listen to all that government stuff.

26 June, 2006 21:34  
Blogger Gyrobo bloody well said...

Is there something wrong with your blog? I cannot access it through conventional means. The main page appears to lead... nowhere.

24 July, 2006 11:01  
Blogger Gyrobo bloody well said...

Wait... now it's working...

Time to harvest the random slogans. Again.

Bwa ha ha!

24 July, 2006 11:02  
Blogger The Exile bloody well said...

I said to Red as soon as I saw the card, "I wonder what they're selling." That just pissed her off and we went anyway.

Didn't you know? For women, having a baby means an excuse to go shopping for the next 20 years. It's no wonder they love motherhood!

Don't know if you remember me, but I had to take a few months off for some family issues.

I'm back and I've bailed out of Blogger. I have my own site at:

If you still have a link to me anywhere I'd appreciate it if you'd update it.

Are you still in MN? I notice your description still lists RI as your home base, but I remember you used to be here (not to mention the quote from Jesse (The Mind is a Terrible Thing) Ventura).

Hope you're well, and congrats on the kid. They make it all worthwile, don't they?

The Exile

27 July, 2006 19:37  
Blogger Robosquirrel bloody well said...

Exile, I'm from Minnesota, currently living in a coupe thousand metric tons of steel bobbing around off the coast of Ecuador. I'll update my links as soon as practicable.

Hope you don't mind if ask how things are with your family?

12 August, 2006 12:36  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home