Sunday, January 14, 2007

I Just Want To Be Friends... With Benefits!

As always, I delude myself into thinking that the Internet is wondering why I haven't called or written. Espousing opinions on varied and sundry topics ends up taking a back seat when I'm swamped and don't have time for slow, annoying Internet to down/upload things as applicable while on the ship.

I mean, honestly, with INSURV in five weeks, the only thing that is really vexing is INSURV. I guarantee that I'll have more time for you March, Internet.

Off the ship, I've discovered that since coming home, I remain a stranger in my own house. Red is so used to handling everything that she's doesn't want me to help, lest I screw up her system, which consists wholly of piles of paper which she stacks on every horizontal surface that I'm told I own. She and I had a good discussion about this last night, and I really need to spend some time on home improvement projects.

No, Internet, I don't blame you that my front lawn is dead, or that my sunroom needs a floor AND leaks AND has mold, or that half of my stuff is still in my garage and I haven't fully moved into my house yet (in seven months).

My son, though he barely knows me, will not let me go and reaches out for me to pick him up at every opportunity, even when being held by others (like Red). Tyring to integrate back into family was even harder over the holidays, flying to Minnesota and getting Jack out of his routine and not really spending any quality time with Red. And now we're back, she still doesn't want to get a babysitter so we can go on a date once in a while.

So the last thing I need is the Internet eating up my time. I'm up for the occasional quickie if I can get 128K, even 64K, on the ship. At home, our time together will be sparse.

I'm not breaking up with you, Internet (especially since my mother and grandmother read People Covered in Fish); I just want to see other people. I just got Red to let me clean the office during my holiday tomorrow. Even though I'd love to blog and browse and email, I need to work on my family. You understand, right? Oh, I'll still visit and write once in a while, but I just can't give you the attention you really deserve.

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