Sunday, April 29, 2007

Three Seashells

Sitting here watching "Curious George" and waiting for Jack to quit fighting off a nap, naturally, I thought of finishing up a post I started a few days ago.

I wasn't even going to bother posting about Sheryl Crow's Helpful Tips for Saving Mother Earth, but there I was on the ship last week, sitting in the head. Also known as the Thinkin' Seat. Am I the only one who actually comes up with some good ideas and solves problems while in the head? I doubt it.

I reached for the toilet paper and to my surprise, someone had put a roll of one-ply there. It's always two-ply, but it appears that someone bought a few crates of one-ply. I am Anti-One-Ply. One-ply tears as you pull it off the roll, not to mention when actually, uh... operating it. I can't imagine it saves anyone any money, because you have to use three times as much to get the same, er... capacity.

I wonder what kind of person could actually get away with using three squares. Then again, in the Middle East, they don't use any at all. I rode along on a Bahraini patrol craft while conducting maritime intercept operations in 2000 and sure enough, there was not a square to spare. I held out as long as I could, but I did eventually have to do it Arabian style. This experience has served me well in other third-world countries, unfortunately.

Sheryl Crow claims it was all a joke, but I would've thought she'd herald the enlightenment of the Middle Eastern cultures. Red wonders if she also uses three squares during Aunt Flo's monthly visits.

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3 Comments:

Blogger Crazy Politico bloody well said...

I generally don't agree with Rosie O'Donnell, but when she asked, of Sheryl's idea, "Have you seen the size of my ass", I had to laugh and give her points for the comment.

And, if Sheryl wants to put me in jail, I ate a truck stop breakfast the other day, then used about 400 trips worth of TP afterwards :)

29 April, 2007 08:50  
Blogger Robosquirrel bloody well said...

She wants us to think it's a joke, but I bet she'd love to jail time for those who aren't "green" enough for her. We should just switch to the three seashells and get it over with. Oh! New post title.

30 April, 2007 05:36  
Blogger Bloviating Zeppelin bloody well said...

I catch up on many of my periodicals on the throne. I still wonder how Armstrong could have put up with her for so long -- she must have been a whirlwind in the sack; that's the only saving grace I could proffer.

BZ

01 May, 2007 13:16  

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